Thinking, When You Think You Aren’t
It all tends to hit me at once, you know? There are times when there’s nothing at all going on, like when I’m driving and I don’t think I’m thinking, but I am, and it all hits me. So many changes, so many gone, and so much heartache.
There are times when I think I’m okay, and doing well. But then these moments of vulnerability pop up like a dolphin breaking through to the surface of stable, calm waters. And that’s when it all comes to me, reminding me that I won’t ever have those moments with you again. The ones featuring your comments about my rather interesting need to sing everything. The ones where we’d all be taking about random things, and you’d be crying in the next instance. The ones where we’d sit and play games together, crying of laughter at the newfound stories that were being shared.
I’m learning that moments are fleeting. You’ll never truly know when the last time you’ll be in the presence of someone you love…you’ll never truly know when the last time you’ll be able to hear them say your name…you’ll never know when the last time you’ll be able to create a memory with them.
Therefore of course, I say make sure those you love know that you do. But I also suggest creating as many memories as you can. Take as many pictures as you can, even on the days when you don’t feel good about yourself. Write down your experiences and stories more so you can always refer back to it. Be present. Be mindful. Stay in the moment that you’re in with those that are with you in them…because you’ll never truly know when that’ll be it.
When we all have moments of realization’s about life, usually surrounding the shortness, we tend to think we need to be with “our” people only for the rest of our time. And while I agree with it to a point, I think meeting new people, and finding new ones who fit you, that eventually become apart of “your” people, is the beauty of it. Establishing new relationships, and friendships will help make you live longer. No, not in the sense of being immortal and living as a human forever but your legacy, who you are/were, your uniqueness, and experiences will live on through generations. The lives you touch and memories you create with people will forever live on through all of those people. Them sharing your stories, and experiences keep your words alive.
So while life is often very short, and it’s imperative for you to give love and surround yourself with good people. People who make you feel comfortable, and confident to be yourself without even trying. People who will speak of you and the experiences shared with years to come, whether or not you’re in touch with them anymore. Think of what you want out of your life, not in a stressful or anxious way, but more in simplistic terms. What do you want out of your life? To be happy? — What does it mean to be happy? To be loved? — What does that look like? To give love? — How? To be successful? — What does being successful mean to you? Whatever it is, whatever those answers are for you, work towards creating that, and leaving sprinkles of it with every person you interact with. Because truly, all we’ll all have one day are simply just that; the memories.
