Talk Your Talk, but Learn to Listen

Four years ago, I wrote a very controversial piece while I was a freshman at Marymount Manhattan College. It was titled, “What It’s Really Like Being a Conservative on a Liberal Campus”, and was really a statement piece. I remember my dad crystal clearly asking me to not put my name on it because he was afraid of what would happen if I did. (Truthfully, my name will be on every single thing I do because I’m proud as hell of my work.) That piece really rocked waves in my school, especially for me, and around the internet. Not on a crazy level, but to me it was a lot because people I didn’t know were sharing it and commenting their views about it. Hell, the Dean of the school emailed me personally to have a meeting with her because of it. Then, a whole “sit-down” happened with the president of the college with the conservative students. As a writer, that is the very best feeling in the world; your work creating conversations, whether it’s good or bad conversations. I still believe what I said then about it, “It doesn’t matter what’s being said; they’re all still sharing it and giving my work more views so really, I’m winning in this situation.” As they say, “all press is good press”, and that I truly believe.

It’s been four years and my views on a lot have changed. Do I 100% agree with everything I wrote then? Nope, not at all. Do I kind of cringe when I read it? Oh hell yes. I’m not sure when it was taken down or “pulled off” the site but since the article was published, the publication itself has changed and taken down a lot of the previous articles. Of course as you grow, you experience life more and learn so much more than you ever thought along the way. I wrote that piece because at the time, I felt really “cornered” and almost ashamed for what I believed in. I was never one to speak about politics because I didn’t care or know enough. But, I knew about people, respect, and understood that what was going on wasn’t right. And here I am today, with a little more knowledge on political issues, international relations, “societies dark spots”, and know more about what I previously did then. Heck, I’m still learning every single day. Though I am again, realizing that what is going on in the world is not right.

A country that was once known as the greatest country in the world has now become the laughing stock of the globe. We’ve had people step up to become leaders of our country who are unprofessional, unable to handle themselves in a considerate and appropriate manner, and are unable to have conversations without bashing others. Not only am I saying that about all of the candidates of the past two elections, but guess what folks, you’re all following suit! People aren’t having conversations with those who disagree with them, they’re completely turning their cheek and it’s sad to witness. Everyone should have equal rights; men, women, any member of the LGBTQ+ community, those of any and all races, ethnicities, origins — we should all have equal rights without any commentary from anyone who 1) doesn’t know us, 2) is not in our positions, and 3) are not at all affected by what we do in our lives. This is a country that was formed on the idea that “all men are created equal”, they are provided with basic rights from their “Creator”, “among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness”. Who are you to say what makes someone happy, and what does not? Who are you to say that there are certain groups of people out there who do not deserve these rights, the very same rights that you are allowed to have? Who are you to say that there are people, other humans, walking this earth that are not equal to you? Who the hell are you? God? Frankly, I think we all need to check our places here. Let people live their very lives the way that they deem pleasurable and keep it moving. When there are interferences of these or other human rights, people should stand up and speak out. And that’s what people on both sides are trying to do, for obvious different reasons though some very similar. You’re all having a screaming match and trying to scream louder than the opposing person, not allowing anyone to hear shit. Learn your place, and learn that if you do not have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all. Stand up for what you believe in, but realize that all you can control are your words and your actions, so think clearly.

You’re all obviously allowed to do as you please, we do live in a country where the First Amendment is Freedom of Speech. I am just so saddened to be living in a place where people are not listening to each other, respecting each other, and are resorting to name calling when the other person does not agree. The maturity level of this country has become lower and lower, and we are losing every single aspect that has made this country great. Everyone speaks about how unprofessional and sad the way the potential leaders of this country and the leader of this country acted, yet you then all go the exact same route that they have. You do not fight fire with fire.

While I’ve been silently strongly disagreeing with the world and the way things are being handled, I think the final straw for me was the other night when my dad had an encounter with a DoorDash worker. Thankfully, I wasn’t home for this (…sorry Dad). There was banter over the “Make America Great Again” flag that my dad has hanging outside of my house and it didn’t end well. The delivery man had made snarky comments about it and was laughing at him, to which my dad reacted defensively. As the heated “debate” continued on my driveway, the delivery man went to take his phone out and held it up to my dad, as if to record him. This right here, that whole interaction is a big issue pertaining to what’s going wrong with the country. We can’t have conversations with people anymore when we learn that they disagree or think differently than we do. We go into the conversations already on the defense, ready to defend our opinions and criticize others for what they think and believe. The tone we use, a harsh, enticing one, insights a very same defensive one; it’s a never ending cycle. Spencer Critchley, a previous campaign advisor for former President Obama, was quoted by The Saturday Evening Post in an article published in September discussing how to approach a conversation with someone who you know is on the other end of the spectrum from where you are: “We must learn to respond to people in a more intuitive way. We must build trust. Connect first, debate later.” While I think the definition of “intuitive” here is debatable since some people may instinctively respond harshly, I think what he was trying to say is the truth. We need to be able to first listen and genuinely hear each other out. Relearn how to engage in conversations maturely, aware of the fact that the other person may not see where you are coming from but yet, you are both able to debate in an actual proactive way.

The Associated Press has a series called “Divided America” and in the about section of the series, the following is stated: “It’s no longer just Republican vs Democrat, or liberal vs conservative. It’s the 1 percent vs 99 percent, rural vs urban,…” The harsh reality is that we, the people of America, are allowing the 1 percent to continue to divide us even further. In the Saturday Evening Press article, Critchley said that the massive gap between the “enlightened group” and “counter-enlightened group” is so vast, and has been “helped on by politicians and the media”. He also added that a lot of this division is “exaggerated” and “a lot of money can be made by making people angry and afraid.” Remember those people in the 1 percent? They’re playing a massive part in all of this because in return, they’re making more moolah off of the public in fear and division.

Sadly, even the news organizations are a part of this. Journalists are meant to educate, inform and entertain us on what is going on in the world, as I recall one of my Global Media textbooks taught me (Shout out to Thomas L. McPhail and his 5th edition of Global Communication: Theories, Stakeholders, and Trends). Would you believe the journalists today are doing that but with a spicy twist — they’re reporting on what suits and pushes their agenda. WOAH. (We love media literacy, don’t we?) We’re getting the news but not the real, hardcore, factual news. No, no, instead, we’re getting the news but depending on what channel you’re tuning into, the contents and context will vary. We all must be very cautious and wary of what we take in from social media in terms of news because all of that is based off of algorithms that play very close attention to what you’re “into”. The various talk of switching social media platforms, such as getting off of Facebook and going onto a conservative platform could be very damaging and further divide us. Parler, the “Free Speech Social Network”, is not “labeled” as a conservative network, though a lot of conservative republicans are making the switch for various reasons. They’re being censored on other platforms, there are fact checkers who are labeling their posts as false, privacy rights, and so on. The real issue here is what has happened to social media, a place that used to be all about connecting and keeping in touch with those who no longer have close relations. Majority of social media platforms are now being used as political machines, and easy ways to distribute propaganda for both parties. While we are all entitled and allowed to generally post about what we want to post about, social media isn’t fun anymore; it’s become crazed over political news, incredibly ridiculous debates and passive aggressive comments about others.

There are far too many issues within the topic of social media platforms and what has happened to them, most concerning those operating them, but we are following what the big players want us to do — become more divided. I understand the want, and need to do so, especially because of the pressing issues of suppressing content from people with certain ideologies and those who belong to certain political affiliations, but this isn’t the answer. On Parler, you have the opportunity to “moderate your own world”, which “shadow-bans” people and specific keywords that you do not want to see on your profile or feed. By going to a place where you are completely surrounded by people who all think the same way is so harmful. We need debates. We need controversies. We need disagreements and conversations about these disagreements in order to learn more. If you stay within the same group of people, you’re never going to learn more because you’re going to be getting the same views/perspectives on what’s going on, and will be potentially unaware of things that are going on outside of your “bubble”. I understand the frustration that lies within having these big conversations such as the feelings of not being heard, pure ignorance, or even total disregard of other human beings. But we need to push past that and focus on not losing this country and people as a whole, though I am afraid there may be no turning back soon. We need real, unbiased reporting on a large scale in order to help.

It doesn’t even matter who you voted for, who you like, or what party you belong to, you’re all being the biggest hypocrites and I frankly can not believe that you all have allowed this to turn you this far.

This country, as so many others do as well, has a lot to work on. There are a lot of people within our country who still are racist, and homophobic, among so much more. There is a lot to discuss in terms of systematic racism, and how the “system” is very much against a lot of minorities. There is a lot of inequality amongst groups that needs to be re-evaluated, and so much more work to be done.

I may just be a twenty-two year old woman from a small town in New Jersey who may not have any say in anything, but I’ll be damned if this continues further and I don’t try to raise awareness of what’s going on. It’s absolutely sickening, and mind blowing that we, the American people, are allowing bigger groups and forces to separate and divide us. Yes, there are bad people within every single group on the planet. These groups should not be painted with the same brush and color simply because of the one bad apple. NEWS FLASH we are all individual people with individual thoughts. There are plenty of gay, queer, lesbian, transgender, African Americans, Latinos/Latinas, Asians, billionaries and those living in poverty who are registered Republicans just as there are all of those same people who are registered Democrats. Your political party affiliation doesn’t mean shit. Stop labeling people automatically and have these uncomfortable conversations when you find out that someone voted differently from you. Don’t go into the conversation bashing them, putting them down for their choice, and speaking to them with a condescending tone. That’s what sets a person off, makes them go into defense mode, and will lead things down the wrong path. Instead, speak clearly and maturely about your position to give the other person insight into something that they 1) may not be aware of, or 2) just simply to have an adult discussion. If you are unable to partake in conversations because you know the person will not be able to remain calm, or you yourself can’t without blowing a fuse, calling people names, unable to have specific facts and enough information to back up claims that are apparently true, then do not engage. It is not worth it. Instead, I highly suggest if you are interested enough in learning more, try researching our country (it’s socioeconomics, systems, the way we work as a country, race and class issues within it), international relations, politics, and those that are in power. Teach yourself, expose yourself to outlets and people you disagree with, and listen to each other without belittling someone for their opposing view. You’ve all become so ignorant, and it’s honestly incredibly embarrassing.