Snippets
It’s been a bit of a while, hasn’t it? I’ve found that I write better when I’m hurting, or going through things, though that’s also sometimes when I want to write least…But right now, for whatever reason, things are flowing out like my tears have been these last few days…
What am I supposed to do when I get memories in my head of you? Snippets of your head being thrown back as you laughed hysterically at something one of us did…Snippets of you crying suddenly at something, your lip quivering and voice sounding choked up as you spoke…Snippets of you dialing a number on the phone, carefully clicking each button, and then puffing out a breath as you pressed the phone to your ear when you finally had successfully dialed it…What am I supposed to do with all of these small snippets of you that make me feel so many things all at once? How do I get through knowing I won’t be able to form any more of these?
Our family has endured so, so much over these last few years. So much heartbreak, so close together in time. And while some automatically may associate all that heartbreak and tragedy with bad luck, I would say we’re the luckiest family in the world. The love within this family erupts consistently like an overflowing, ever-pouring volcano. We bond so closely, and so tightly simply because of our heartaches and tears. We bond together to cry, to scream, and to celebrate, all to support and lift each other up when we each need it.
Every war one of us has gone to fight in, we’ve all gone in together. Though we may not have won them all, we’ve become stronger every single time.
And so as our hearts are hurting like nothing a lot of us have ever endured before, we’re so fortunate to be here together. To be the very family that we are, and to have had every single family member in our embrace. Those who no longer are with us, and those who still are here today.
